Transforming 'Have to' into 'Get to': The Power of Gratitude in Everyday Language

I recently read about the power of saying and thinking, "I get to" instead of "I have to." I've been applying this in my life; it changes everything. 

Our language greatly influences us; words and how we say them have so much power. Use that power to your advantage. When we focus on what we appreciate about every situation, no matter how big or small, instead of on what "needs to be done," we get to do these things with different eyes and a grateful heart.

Just try it.

Here are some examples that have completely changed my perspective and attitude towards everyday things we often take for granted. It is even more powerful if you add a "Thank you" at the end of each "Get to."

Instead of: "I have to make dinner." Try: "I get to make dinner and feed my family, or myself, nutritious and healthy meals. Thank you for our food!"

Instead of: "I have to do laundry." Try: "I get to wash and care for my clothes. Thank you for my clothes!"

Instead of: "I have to work out." Try: "I get to exercise! I am so grateful for the time, energy, vitality, and physical ability to exercise and care for my body."

Instead of: "I have to work." Try: "I get to work. I have a job and a means to contribute to my family and community in many ways. Thank you!"

Instead of: "I have to call (name of person).” Try: "I get to call (name of person) and tell them how much they mean to me or simply talk about life, share a recipe, or do some catching up. I am so thankful this person is a part of my life."

Instead of: "I have to clean my house." Try: "I get to clean and keep my house in order. I have a home to take care of! Thank you for my home."

Instead of: "I have to take a shower." Try: "I get to shower! I am so thankful I have warm running water available to me at any time."

"I have to walk my dog." Try: "I get to walk my dog! I am thankful I get to spend time with my dog outside and have the time, energy, and physical ability to do so."

It also applies to shoulds:

Instead of: "I should eat more healthy foods." Try: "I get to eat healthy foods if I choose to! Thank you."

Instead of: "I should go to sleep." Try: "I get to go to sleep when I'm tired. Thank you for my warm bed and my bedroom."

Instead of: "I should study." Try: "I get to study and learn something new! Thank you."

Instead of: "I should stay home tonight." Try: "I get to stay home and give my body and mind all the rest they need. Thank you."

Another powerful shift in language is saying, "It's time." instead of "I need to." When we come from a place of need and lack, we send out the message that something is missing, if instead, we declare that we are ready for whatever "needs" to happen to take place by saying, "It's time.",  we send out the message that we welcome the circumstances in our life that can facilitate our intentions to become part of our reality. Just as with "I get to.", we can apply "It's time." to everything, small and larger goals or actual needs. The examples are endless, and gratitude has its place here as well.

Instead of: "I need to get a haircut." Try:  "It's time for a haircut. I am thankful for my hair and the possibility of dedicating time to my self-image."

Instead of: "I need to lose weight." Try:  "It's time to drop a few pounds. I am thankful I can care for my body and choose healthy habits."

Instead of: "I need a new (fill in the blank)."  Try: "It's time for a new (fill in the blank), I am thankful I can afford a new (fill in the blank) and fulfill my true needs." Always ask yourself if it's really time for a new whatever- or if it can wait, or if you can find a substitute in the goods you already have.

Instead of: "I need to answer some emails." Try:  "It's time to clear my inbox! I am thankful I have the time to do this."

Instead of: "I need to quit (fill in the blank). " Try: "It's time to quit (fill in the blank),I am thankful I am aware of my poor habits and have the willpower to change them."

Instead of: "I need a doctor's appointment." Try: "It's time for a checkup. I am thankful I have access to healthcare."

Instead of: "I need to work on my taxes." -Try: "It's time to work on my taxes. I am grateful I have an income to declare, and I get to contribute towards my country and community by paying my taxes."

Instead of: "I need to rest." Try:  "It's time to take a break. I am thankful I can recognize the need for rest and create the time and space to do so." This is a good one because there is a big difference between saying "I need to rest" over and over and actually deciding it is time to take a break and do it.

You get the idea. "I get to" and "It's time" completely reframe the way we look at and do things. It's not only about being optimistic; it is about appreciating all the blessings and opportunities we have every day. As Lynne Twist says in her book The Soul of Money: "What you appreciate, appreciates." When we shift from a place of have to, should, and need to, which comes from our scarcity mindset, to a place of gratitude and appreciation for the abundance and bleesings in our lives, we can experience joy, contentment, and a sense of prosperity and balance. We become the fortunate experiencers of this world and all its gifts instead of the slaves to our needs, obligations, and bad habits.

This shift in perspective gives us our power back. The power we quietly and often unconsciously relinquish to the dissatisfactory nature of our "routinely and boring lives." These small routines and "obligations" are the ones we miss the most when anything in our lives that we take for granted is taken away from us for any reason. Let's not forget the lockdown and how the pandemic made us realize this in many ways. Anybody who has had to be hospitalized or cared for a loved one who is bedridden knows this. - How nice was it when I could just take myself to the bathroom? Or - How I wish I could serve my kid dinner at the table tonight. -  If you have been unemployed, you certainly know the value of a paycheck and of being of service to someone. If you have lost someone close, which most of us have, you know how the things you miss the most are the little things; we miss being able to pick up the phone and call that person; we wish we could see that person walk through the door once more, we wish we could do that person's laundry, or cook for them, and even argue with them once more. The list of examples is endless, and that's even without considering dreadful situations most of us have never experienced, such as homelessness, war, famine, and extreme poverty, which are very real for too many people.

Don't wait for things to be missing in your life to start appreciating them. Every day is a blessing, every challenge an opportunity to grow, and every "obligation" a reminder that you get to be of service and give love and care to yourself and others in whatever way is presented to you.

You get to live your life with joy and gratitude. It's time to start now! So take a deep breath and enjoy.

Books that you might like:

The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist

Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman